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Марк Твен

Mark Twain (1835-1910)
American humorist, novelist, writer, and lecturer

  • A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

  • A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has read.

  • All creatures kill—there seems to be no exception; but of the whole list, man is the only one that kills for fun; he is the only one that kills in malice, the only one that kills for revenge.

  • Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

  • Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

  • Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

  • I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

  • I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

  • I have no race prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.

  • If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

  • It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.

  • It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

  • It’s easy to quit smoking. I’ve done it hundreds of times.

  • Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

  • Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

  • Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.

  • The only reason why God created man is because he was disappointed with the monkey.

  • The report of my death was an exaggeration.

  • There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

  • Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

  • Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

    Aphorisms: 21

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